A Beginner's Lament

Today you get it then tomorrow you don’t
Just when you’ve found the Holy Grail
You lose it again
The game of your life is followed by the worst of them all
It’s a gentleman’s game but your patience must be a saint’s

Two steps forward, one step backward
Then two more back, before a single one front
Surely it must be easier
To train a dog how to sing
Than your muscles to swing

The ball is too small and the hole is too small
And what makes you think you can sink it
From a quarter mile even with a roll?
Not with a stick with a head that miniscule
Sometimes you wonder why you picked it up at all

The view is so wonderful if you can just look around
But most of the time your head is on the ground
The splash of water is a sound that you dread
And the wind on your face
Is not a good sign indeed

Most of the time you'll frolic in the sand
But no, not this time, you’ll avoid it if you can
Sure you'll never see a sight lovely as a tree
But not if it blocks
Your next shot from the tee

But one sweet zinger
A two hundred yarder
A twenty-foot putter
And you feel like a Tiger

You come back for more
And suffer some more
It’s a masochistic drill
For that one-time thrill!